I have always been an active person. In 2005 I got certified through the National Personal Training Institute's 6 month training program and had been weight lifting all through high school and college, learning from books and magazines as I went. I was certified through the NSCA, a highly reputable organization. I worked at LA Fitness for a time, and while I was there got into bodybuilding and powerlifting. I had other staff asking to train with me because of how intently I worked out. I also got into yoga then.
In 2008 I was certified as a Yoga instructor with Yoga Alliance after finishing a year-long 252-hour training program. I did the same thing with Yoga that I had done with weight training. I threw myself into it, learning meditation and trying different styles, I developed some pretty cool physical skills along the way, too.
In 2009, I first got certified in Tai Chi through the Tai Chi for Health system developed by Paul Lam and I AGAIN did the same thing, spending hours and hour learning Tai Chi forms and Qigong from any source I could find, from online programs to books to live trainings.
I've always tried to have a voracious appetite for learning and self-development, striving to find the truth, to find the BEST way to learn and to experience the fullness of a field or discipline.
Then we get to 2015.
I moved, I was depressed, I lost the job that I thought I was going to get (a very nice job with a lot of advancement opportunity). I was in a SMALL efficiency apartment with my husband and we were there for over a year. I worked, we walked, but it was not nearly enough activity. I got a job at the YMCA where I started teaching group exercise eventually, but it was a few classes a week here and there. I tried taking some classes and exercising, but it was in fits and starts and I was very erratic about it. Fast forward a few years and put in some managerial type work that I was not ready for, and at the end of it, I was pretty emotionally drained and beaten up. I went through 2019 dealing with depression and anxiety and fear and stress, definitely not working out much. Toward the end of the year I had started doing cardio and some yoga and Tai Chi (5 Tibetan Rites and Tai Chi Qigong Shibashi) along with some kettlebell stuff, but then CORONA.
Honestly, I'm glad for the impact of the pandemic, at least in my own personal life. My husband and I have been healthy, I was able to get unemployment to hold us over, and I used it to get my personal life back on track. Doing things around the house, starting to exercise again, in fits and starts, but the trend has continued now that I'm back to work.
It feels like starting over.
And it feels good.
I've learned that I have to start slow, build gradually, and forgive mistakes and falling backwards. I've learned that getting back up again and re-learning things actually makes me learn them better the second time. I've learned that it's good to go with the "Beginner's Mind" mentality and to look at life in the long term more than the short term, especially when it comes to progress.
I meant this post to be about exercise and my fitness journey, and it still is, ostensibly.
But really it's a commemoration about finally feeling like starting over STUCK.
I know it might sound tone-deaf to talk about the pandemic in a POSITIVE light, but I made a conscious decision to take it positively. How can I use this to my best, most purposeful advantage?
I've started some things and let some things go, but I feel good that it's very intentional and it feels like I'm moving forward again.
I might not be back to my MOST manic self-discipline, but I feel like that's part of the journey too, and I can decide how much of that I want to build back in.
I'll be posting more regularly soon, so I hope you stay tuned!
